Crying

Things that make me cry

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-Drake’s classic/monumental/Nobel Peace Prize winning 2011 album, Take Care

-Turkey Burgers

-El Chacal from Sábado Gigante

-A failed twist-out

-Law and Order: Criminal Intent marathons

-Funerals

-Soldiers Coming Home Moments on YouTube

-The last 5 minutes of Selena

I’ve been crying for about 21 years now so I know a thing or two about crying. Crying is something I try not to let happen to often. I don’t like showing my emotions even though I am an emotional person. I’m emotional because I feel emotions but I don’t always express them.  As defined in the New Oxford American Dictionary, emotions are, “any of the particular feelings that characterize such a state of mind, such as joy, anger, love, hate, horror, etc” (emotions, New Oxford American Dictionary). When I feel sad, angry, or anxious, I cry. Sometimes it’s a cute cry, where it’s just one tear rolling down my cheek every 30 seconds. Other times it’s the ugly cry. The ugly cry is when sounds come out of my mouth and my nose starts running. I usually cry in the comfort of my bathroom, in my bed, or in line at Subway when they tell me they’ve run out of Italian Herbs and Cheese. I try my hardest not to cry in front of people. The worst thing you can tell someone when they’re crying is that “everything will be okay” and that’s what we humans tend to say when someone is crying.  That makes me cry even more. Crying makes me feel like a weak person who can’t think of anything else to do but let streams of salt water fall down my face. For the past few months, I’ve been doing a good mix of cute and ugly crying. I’m anxious and I’m a college student which means I cry about once a week. Whatever, I can deal with that. But then the days started adding up. There can be many reasons why my crying has picked up (near graduation, more work load, my Checking Account, every time I step into the financial aid office [ILLUMINATI], trying to eat healthy, etc). I guess up until now, I’ve never really thought about what is causing my crying. Obviously my emotions, what I am feeling, but I don’t really think about what’s causing me to cry when I cry and that’s what scares me. I’m not going to lie, sometimes after a “good” cry I feel calmer, more relaxed. I don’t plan when I’m going to cry so when it happens I freak out. I hate the unexpected and when I cry I want it to stop immediately. I wish I was Taylor Swift and knew the reason for these teardrops on my keyboard but I ain’t got the answers.

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